Seven years ago, I wrote an article called “It’s Time to Say Yes.” Since then, the Jewish community has continued to change, but the Conservative Movement has not kept up. As rabbis, we have the freedom to make decisions about so many aspects of synagogue life — how we run our services, what kosher standards we follow, how we guide people through conversion. We are trusted as Mara d’atra, the final authority for our communities, on countless matters. Yet when it comes to officiating at interfaith weddings, we are still told “no.”
This is not just about policy; it’s about relevance, inclusivity, and the survival of Jewish life. The reality is clear: interfaith marriage is a fact of modern Judaism. According to the 2013 Pew Study, 58% of Jews who married between 2005 and 2013 married someone who isn’t Jewish. For non-Orthodox Jews, that number climbs to 72%. Even in the Conservative Movement, 27% of married Conservative Jews have non-Jewish spouses. These numbers are not just statistics — they represent the people in our pews, our classrooms, and our families.
When we refuse to officiate interfaith marriages, we are not protecting Judaism; we are pushing people away. Many interfaith couples who are turned away by their rabbis never return. They either join other Jewish communities that welcome them or drift away from Judaism entirely. The data also shows that children of interfaith couples are more likely to be raised Jewish if their parents feel welcomed by the Jewish community. By saying “no” to these couples, we miss the opportunity to help them create Jewish homes and raise Jewish children.
This refusal is made worse by its inconsistency. We celebrate the births of interfaith couples’ children, guide those children through b’nai mitzvah, send them to Jewish camps and youth groups, and eventually welcome these families into our cemeteries. But when it comes to the wedding ceremony itself, we turn them away. How can we deny them our presence at this critical moment and then expect them to feel fully embraced afterward? How can we bless them before and after, but not during?
The Conservative Movement’s motto is “Tradition and Change.” This isn’t a contradiction; it’s a core principle. Judaism has always evolved to meet the needs of its people. Ruth, a Moabite woman, joined the Jewish people through marriage, and her descendants include King David. Throughout history, our tradition has made space for those who enter the Jewish community through love and commitment. Refusing to officiate at interfaith marriages is not a defense of tradition — it’s a failure to engage with change.
Allowing rabbis to officiate at interfaith weddings does not mean abandoning our values. It means recognizing that by saying “yes,” we can help these couples build meaningful Jewish lives. It means trusting rabbis — who know their communities and their congregants — to make thoughtful, halachic decisions. Just as we decide on matters of kashrut, ritual, and lifecycle events, we should be empowered to decide how to support couples who seek to bring Judaism into their homes.
Our congregants are ready for this change. The data shows we need it. The future of Judaism depends on it. By continuing to say “no,” we risk becoming irrelevant to the very people we seek to serve. The Rabbinical Assembly must remember that “Tradition and Change” is more than a slogan — it is a promise.
It is long past time to say “yes.” Our communities, our future, and our tradition demand it.
I find this so very intriguing, so out- word in a positive expression toward the continuity for Jewish life that I had not expected since having the honor of knowing you in action. Have you performed such marriages? what and where would be the type of service? what I question would be to encompass a Jewish family life. Shalom